After the year we’ve had, I got to thinking about all of the things we missed due to the pandemic. All of the celebrations that had to be postponed, the reunions that got cancelled, the vacations that got scrubbed, and the loved ones we were not able to be with. With vaccines now rolling out nationwide, it looks like we’re about to start returning to normal very soon. And, with Valentine’s right around the corner as well, I thought I’d make a new list of gifts for your significant other based on how long you’ve been together. And for the record, I’m talking about how many years you’ve been together. Not how many days you were locked-down together.
Less than a Year
Oh, this one’s easy. New underwear, errr, I mean lingerie. This one will never change, regardless of the circumstances or situations. Red lingerie for Valentine’s Day is always good. Also remember that rubies are red as well. It wouldn’t hurt to throw in a nice ruby necklace purchased from your locally owned jewelry store.
One to Five Years
Jewelry! Let’s face it; you’ve both been stuck inside and locked down together for about a year. Jewelry from your local mom and pop jewelry store will go a long way towards making it a great Valentine’s Day… for the jewelry store! And, jewelry is always a great present. And, if you’re not sick of each other yet, maybe spring for some new lingerie as well. As far as a gift for him, he doesn’t really care about his underwear, but go ahead and buy him some new boxers just for you. You don’t need to see those old ones he’s so proud of any longer.
Five to Ten Years
This one is easy as well. Jewelry from your local mom and pop owned jewelry store. They would really appreciate the business, and Amazon and the big box guys won’t even miss the money if you buy locally. And maybe you could spring for some new Tupperware as well. Come on now, everyone loves new Tupperware. And, since you’ve been married several years now, it’s a safe bet you’re still using the Tupperware you got as a wedding present. Imagine how nice it would be to have Tupperware that actually has lids you can find.
Ten to Twenty Years
I think a vacation is in order here. A nice 10 day trip… by yourself. You get the west coast, your spouse gets the east coast, and your parents get the kids. No calls, no social media, and no contact with one another. Just 10 days of alone time. And, if 10 days is not enough, add another 10. I’m sure everyone has thought about this once or twice throughout this pandemic. But you’d better be shopping in those cute little shops around your vacation destination for that gift you know you have to have when you get back home.
Twenty to Thirty Years
Buy your own gifts. You know what you want better than your spouse does. But remember to buy it locally. The local businesses were the ones that were shut down. Let’s help them start making up for all of that lost revenue. Amazon has enough money, your local businesses don’t.
Over Thirty Years
What the heck? Don’t you know you can get out of marriages now? You don’t have to stay together anymore. You can just see each other at family gatherings, weddings, and funerals. And people wonder why I’m single!
Of course I’m only kidding, because we all know that the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for this group of people is very expensive jewelry that you bought from your local jeweler. That will make everyone involved very happy – especially your jeweler.
It was around Valentine’s Day last year that we all started hearing rumblings about something that was looming on the horizon, and it might be bad. No one could have imagined it would be THAT BAD! But help is on the way in the form of the vaccines, and the end of the pandemic is in sight. The return to normalcy is close. The return to ‘business as usual’ is right around the corner.
As a long time first responder, I had my first dose of the vaccine on December 30th. I had zero side effects. My arm was a little sore the next morning, but in all reality, it’s sore every morning till I get it moving. I encourage everyone to consider getting the vaccine, but remember my motto; You Do You.
I look forward to hearing everyone’s stories about the return to profitability, the return of a brisk retail trade, and the return of all of your employees back to your store – even if they’re not happy about putting on pants for work again.
Good luck everyone, and Happy Valentine’s Day.
