Reprinted from January 1992
RING!!!
“Good day, Ben Williams Jewelers.”
“…Is this Ben Williams Jewelers?”
“Yes, it is. Can I help you with something?”
“Well, I don’t rightly know.”
“What is it that you need?”
“Why, I need the prongs repaired on my ear screws. They keep snagging on my pantyhose all the time.”
“Err…of course! Why not bring them in so I can see them?”
“They’re nice ear screws – diamonds you know.”
“That’s nice.”
“How large do you suppose the stones are?”
“I don’t know. How large are they?”
“That’s what I asked you. You’re supposed to be a professional.”
“Err…yes, but I have to see them to determine the size.”
“They’re about the size of a pink thyroid pill.”
“Yes, Ma’am, but I’d need to see them to tell the actual size.”
“But, sir, I told you they were the size of a thyroid pill.”
“Yes, of course, but I’ve never seen the pill, so I don’t know.”
“Goodness, I’ve taken them for years. The pill is about half the size of an ordinary aspirin.”
“Why don’t you bring the earrings in?”
“I don’t know where you are located.”
“Do you know where Interstate 10 is?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Ah…do you know where Montana Street is?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Where do you live?”
“On Springwood.”
“That’s only three blocks from the store. Don’t you know where we are?”
“No…”
“Right across from Dandy Grocery. Do you know where that is?”
“I think so.”
“Do you think you can find the store?”
“Maybe.”
“Al…righ…ty…”
“What are your hours?”
“From 9 a.m. till 6 p.m. every day but Saturday.”
“What are your Saturday hours?”
“Nine a.m. till 6:30 p.m.”
“Why is that?”
“Why is what?”
“Why are you open different hours on Saturday?”
“The shopping center is set up that way.”
“How long have you been in the trade?”
“About 30 years.”
“You haven’t been there 30 years.”
“No, but I‘ve been in the trade 30 years.”
“Where?”
“In San Antonio, once I worked downtown and on a military base.”
“Where downtown?”
“It isn’t there now…near the plaza. They tore down the building.”
“I’ve lived here 50 years and I don’t remember anyplace like that.”
“It was there.”
“I’ve lived here for 50 years and I don’t remember.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Are you a qualified jeweler?”
“I think so,”
“I’ve always gone to John Henry. He’s a fine jeweler, but he closed his store recently and retired.”
“Yes, he is a good jeweler. I’ve always admired him.”
“He was my jeweler for 50 years.”
“Yes, he’s a great guy.”
“Do you think you could fix my ear screws?”
“I’m certain we can.”
“I’m going to bring them in the first chance I have.”
“That’ll be fine!”
“It’s so troublesome, you know…”
